Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I imagine that day is the day I start over. I’m going to walk into school and be someone else, someone loud and funny, with a posse of friends …

Sixteen-year-old Arden Grey is struggling. Her mom has left their family, her father and younger brother won’t talk about it, and a classmate, Tanner, keeps harassing her about her sexuality—which isn’t even public. (She knows she likes
girls romantically, but she thinks she might be asexual.) At least she’s got her love of film photography and her best and only friend Jamie to help her cope.

But when Jamie starts dating his first girlfriend, suddenly he isn’t so reliable.

Arden starts feeling insecure about their friendship. She starts to wonder if she’s jealous or if Jamie’s relationship with Caroline is somehow unhealthy—and it makes her reconsider how much of her relationship with her absent mom wasn’t okay, too.

Filled with big emotions, first loves, and characters navigating toxic relationships, Ray Stoeve’s honest and nuanced novel is about finding your place in the world and seeking out the love and community that you deserve.