Loss Adjustment

'I have had nothing bad happen to me except my own doing. I have let this cowardice envelop me, and I can't shake it off. I will commit the worst thing you can ever do to someone who loves you: killing yourself. The scary thing is, I'm okay with that.' —Victoria McLeod, Singapore, March 30, 2014

Loss Adjustment is a mother's recount of her 17-year-old daughter's suicide.

In the wake of Victoria McLeod's passing, she left behind a remarkable journal in her laptop of the final four months of her life. Linda Collins, her mother, has woven these into her memoir, which is at once cohesive, yet fragmented, reflecting a survivor's state of mind after devastating loss.

Loss Adjustment involves the endless whys, the journey of Linda Collins and her husband in honouring Victoria, and the impossible question of what drove their daughter to this irretrievable act. A stunningly intimate portrait of loss and grief, Loss Adjustment is a breaking of silence—a book whose face society cannot turn away from.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, please reach out to Samaritans of Singapore: 1800-221-4444.

© 2019 by Linda Collins. Published in paper format in Singapore by Ethos Books, recorded by Storyside 2019.